Unplugging

Last week was our district’s “spring break.” At first I wished we could continue in our school-from-home routine, but soon I realized how nice it was to actually have this break from managing devices, troubleshooting technology, figuring out who is using which device when, with which headphones, in what location, etc. Unplugging used to mean getting away from screens, but now it has an even bigger meaning. It also means unplugging from the many new roles I’ve been thrown into since school (buildings) closed.

And the result was that, for the first time since quarantine started, I actually felt that pause button of which I’ve heard and of which I’ve dreamed. I actually forgot which day of the week it was. I didn’t worry about time. We went out for a walk and we came home and we ate. We spent time together in the way I thought we might all along. We played games, bickered, went for walks and bike rides, bickered, read, cooked, bickered some more, cleaned the house--oh wait, no, cleaning didn’t actually happen. I finally was able to actually slow down. (Who knew it would be so hard to slow down, even when thrust inside your own home?)

And then I noticed it again this past weekend. When there aren’t all these plans and options for things to be doing, there is no maximizing--no making the “best” plan, trying to figure out the “ideal” timing to fit things in, no trying to compromise and give everyone a choice and make and keep everyone happy. Instead, we went outside. We scooted around the block. We drew with chalk on the driveway. We chatted with our neighbors across the street. We noticed the space beside our house that might just be a great place for a fort or castle (depending on your preference). We were creative and playful and interacted because our minds were open and our bodies were present. (As you’ll note from this mind-body talk, I still haven’t failed my imagined self on the meditation front--woohoo!)

Never would I ever have thought to gather sticks and make a fortress (there we go--I combined fort and castle) before, but we did. And I can’t put my finger on why this happened. There are still plenty of things I could do.

Maybe it’s the fact of the quarantine continuing for so long that has gotten me here. We’ve all read about how unsustainable the situation is. This article found that the workday has increased by an average of 3 hours per day! The lamenting about the inability to unplug from work had me thinking about how, in addition to the demands of working at home and supporting learning at home (each of which are full-time on their own), we are also now parenting 24/7. We used to have other people in our children’s lives that would play with them, learn with them, co-regulate their emotions with them, or take them when we needed a break. And while adults might be able to get these things more naturally in a virtual world, we still suffer these same losses to our freedom to do these things in our own way and on our own time. Maybe there is only so long we can stay in these negative states of panic, fear, loss, anger, and so on, and then we must somehow find a way to unplug, and that for me unplugging meant stepping away from the constant multi-tasking and managing of people, logistics, and technology. And that when I unplugged in this way, I made space for being in the moment. Maybe.

Or maybe it was just luck and it too will pass. Whatever it is though, we are all doing a lot of “never would I ever”ing. And in that spirit, I leave you with this funny podcast about the joys and struggles of motherhood, and this admittedly long episode about the things we never thought we’d find ourselves doing or allowing. And if you have a chance to unplug from everything else, it is full of relatable moments that might make you laugh, reflect, and feel seen and validated, and maybe that’s just what you need right now.